Have you been kicked off a plane? Tell us your stories using the form below
Good morning, and welcome to BloggsAir. Before you board today, do you mind
answering a few questions? Splendid. Just let me get my clipboard ... right,
off we go.
Are you dressed revealingly? Is there a large toy crocodile in your hand
luggage? While on this flight, do you intend to read pornography, emit
offensive body odour or perhaps sing a topical football-based ditty?
If so, the chances are you’re going to get slung off. All the above offences
have recently resulted in passengers being escorted from the plane by
stony-faced airport-security bods. In fact, over the past few years, cabin
crew have taken to turfing us out of planes in unprecedented numbers.
Only a few days ago, the otherwise blameless Dr Paolo Tomasi from London was
unceremoniously dumped off a Ryanair flight for the heinous crime of talking
to his eight-year-old son during the safety briefing.
Getting ejected for having a chat lacks class, though. It’s a bit meek, a bit
pedestrian. Aren’t there ways of doing it with more panache?
Oh yes there are. Here is our guide to involuntary deplaning with style, all
based on real and recent episodes.
SING ABOUT FOOTBALLERS’ UNDERWEAR
After a fine win over Cardiff last year, fans of Sunderland AFC boarded an
EasyJet flight in buoyant mood and sang the praises of their chairman in
time-honoured terrace fashion. In case you’re not a regular at the Stadium
of Light, the lyrics, to the tune of ’Ere We Go, ’Ere We Go, ’Ere We Go, are
as follows: “Niall Quinn’s disco pants are the best.
They go up from his arse to his chest. They’re better than Adam and the Ants,
Niall Quinn’s disco pants.” EasyJet staff, unused to Wearside poetry, called
the police and had all 100 fans thrown off. Quinn himself shelled out £8,000
for taxis to get them home.
Style rating: 10 - and 11 for Quinn. What a guy.
PAY INSUFFICIENT ATTENTION TO PERSONAL HYGIENE
A German man was chucked off a plane in Honolulu in 2006 for being excessively
whiffy. After two hours’ chasing around a hot airport with heavy luggage, he
took his seat, only to be asked to leave it when fellow passengers
complained. He tried to sue the airline in a Düsseldorf court, and lost; he
tried to appeal, but got stuck in traffic. The case was thrown out.
Style rating: 0 - hapless, hopeless and smelly. Not a good combination.
BLOCK THE EMERGENCY EXIT WITH A HUGE STUFFED CROCODILE
Last November, a woman on a Ryanair flight from Rome to Milan refused to move
her metre-long cuddly toy crocodile, which the crew said was blocking the
emergency exit. Both were removed.
Style rating: 8 – yes, exits are important, but you’ve got to admit
there’s something cool about a life-threatening cuddly croc.
WEAR THE WRONG CLOTHES
American Lorrie Heasley took her seat sporting a T-shirt that featured
pictures of George Bush and friends, with a slogan based on the hit film
Meet the Fockers – but with one crucial vowel altered. Airline staff were
not amused, and she was dumped halfway through her journey at Reno, Nevada.
Unfortunately, her garment wasn’t supplied by Tshirthell.com, a company that
has pledged to provide alternative transport to anyone thrown off a flight
for wearing its products. Since one of its more repeatable slogans reads
“I’d rather be snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass”, that’s probably just as
well.
Style rating: 7 – but only if your clothing is genuinely funny.
DON’T WEAR ENOUGH CLOTHES
That was the crime of Kyla Ebbert, a 23-year-old waitress at the subtly named
Hooters chain of restaurants. She was removed from a Southwest Airlines
plane in San Diego for being dressed too provocatively, in micro miniskirt
and tight T-shirt – though she was let back on when she rearranged them to
cover as much as possible. (It took a while. She’s a big girl.) “I was
embarrassed and humiliated,” she said. To regain her dignity, she took
everything off again for Playboy.
Style rating: 6 – if you can pull it off. Or down.
ATTEMPT SEX
A flight made an unplanned landing last November to eject a couple who were
intent on joining the mile-high club. After “fooling around” in front of
other passengers in their economy seats, the pair made for the lavatories.
Instead of ending up in Las Vegas, as planned, they were dumped in Portland,
Oregon. It is not known whether their love was consummated.
Style rating: 1 – sex in the air is only fun if you don’t get found
out. And nobody wants to be marooned in Portland.
SAY ‘BYE-BYE, PLANE’
Last July, 19-month-old Garren Penland – who’d just endured an 11-hour delay
at Houston airport – said those words repeatedly (as children will) during
the safety briefing on a Continental flight. “The flight attendant said,
‘Okay, it’s not funny any more. You need to shut your baby up,’ ” claimed
his mum, Kate. Unfazed, Garren kept going, and mother and son soon ended up
on the tarmac.
Style rating: 5 – awww, kids, eh? We think it’s cute. Though, after the
30th time, we might have changed our minds, too. Especially if we were
sitting next to the little cherub.
READ PORN
In 2005, South African carrier Nationwide Airlines called a taxiing flight
back to the terminal to eject AC Hoffman, a Cape Town businessman. He’d been
perusing Loslyf, a local publication of liberated bent. “The air hostess
snatched it off me, I told her she was f ***in’ rude, and they chucked me
off,” he said. “This will not be the end of the matter. My hand luggage has
not even been returned.” We think he meant the periodical. The airline’s
chief executive, Vernon Bricknell, commented helpfully: “If you want to look
at this kind of stuff, go and do so in the toilet.”
Style rating: 2 – porn on a flight? Not high on the class-o-meter. Even
if you bought it for the articles.
SWEAR... IF YOU’RE THE PILOT
Bit of a turnaround, this. Last April, the captain of a Northwest Airlines
flight from Las Vegas to Detroit was heard by first-class passengers making
prolific use of the f-word on his mobile as he boarded the plane. When they
complained, he continued to swear – at them this time. Eventually, the
airline’s management removed him from the flight. A rare example of
passenger power.
Style rating: 0 – pilots should wear ties (and perhaps goggles) and be
unflappable. The only acceptable swear word is “dashed”.
DIE
It has drama, but, actually, this one won’t get you slung off. It’ll get you
upgraded. Last March, a woman who expired in an economy seat on a British
Airways flight was immediately reseated at the front of the plane. One
first-class passenger was understandably fazed when he woke up to find that
the vacant seat next to him was now occupied by a corpse. The airline later
apologised.
Style rating: 8 – if you’ve got to take your last journey, do it in
first.
With respect to Andrew from Bolton's comments - surely it seems that either he does not have small children or understands them or simply had nasty experience as a child traveller which makes him think teh way he does !!
Children are difficult to manage in a closed environment of a plane - they may be too small to understand the manners and ettiquettes of travelling in a plane and find it difficult to express at times the aches and pains they have on flights. If they cant behave in the way you expect ie like an adult, that is exactly the reason why they are called children.
Be a bit more considerate about others - be it children or somone in a delicate position. We just worry about ourselves in very selfish ways and this is why the society has deterioated so much. But surely it works if consideration is on both side.
Ramesh Virani, Singapore, Singapore
Children just tell the truth, if you want to know what actually happened ask a 2 or 3 year old. Seems like the cabin staff could not face up to the problems they caused and took it out on a baby - anywhere else and its called BULLYING.
Paul, St Albans, United Kingdom
I used to be tolerant but the more i fly "no frills" the less tolerant I have become. I travel about 8 times a year on average and usually for business. I always fly. I have started to believe that unless people are given an IQ & Manners test (and score a min of 80%) they shouldn't be even given a passport.
A Carraro, Horsham, West Sussex
I think exactly the opposite of Kathleen from Middletown !
The stuffed animal was a safety risk in the emergency exit row, and parents really should shut their kids up, it may be cute to them but its damned annoying to the rest of us !
A t-shirt slogan, revealing clothes, porn, so what doesnt affect anybody else in any way.
Andrew, Bolton, UK
If airlines kicked everyone who disturbed other passengers off the flight there would be no one on the flights! some of the reasons listed above are stupid. Kicking a woman and child off a plane because the child kept repeating one line! thats horible. I can understand the bush shirt, the girl dressed like a hooker and the porn guy, but a stuffed animal, a baby, singing a song, thats alittle much!
Kathleen, middletown,
Well done! I couldn't agree more with you that people who disturb other passengers and the crew in some way should be kicked off. I wish they would do the same in every air company. I remember when I was flying to London, there were 2 young ladies sitting next to me. They didn't stop talking (even during the safety briefing). But the crew didn't seem to care about it at all. It was horrible!
Iva Nikolova, Bournemouth, United Kingdom
Having once had to endure a flight full of drunken and offensive football louts I can only say well done to the Easyjet staff who did the right thing when faced with the same situation. If only British Airways had taken the same approach on my flight to Newcastle some years ago.
Drunken singing, louts running up and down the plane and being violently sick, things thrown randomly around the cabin, and to cap it all off a drunken brawl at Newcastle airport to entertain themselves whilst waiting for the luggage reclaim. No-one at Newcastle thought this was in anyway unreasonable, and my request to airport staff to call the police after I was accidentally hit by one of the brawling thugs met with the comment that 'the boys were only having fun'.
Sarah Jones, London, UK
Come to Portland once and you'll never return to any city in the UK.
JasonR, Albany, Oregon/USA
If the magazine (porn) was sold at the airport, then the passenger should have been allowed to stay on.
Gilbert Nash, San Diego, USA/California
Brilliant stories! Although not strictly "fattist", it is bloody annoying when I/we get perfectly good seats on any length of flight, to find that a "large width" person has an adjacent seat. Lovely as they may be it makes for a very uncomfortable flight, and I admit to intense jealousy (childish I know, but then I have paid the same as everyone else..) towards those folks who sit 3 "normal sized" in a row...I suggest that a weight for height rule ought to be applied to baggage arrangements...ie if you are 7ft 2" and 20 stone then fair enough, just bad luck-but if 5ft 8" and 20 stone, ie spilling out onto the adjacents seats AND you can do something about it-like, eating less, exercising more, for example?? , then at least we might feel a little less inclined to complain if you aren't allowed to take as much "baggage"?? My 8 stone daughter got charged excessively for going 1 kilo over the "allowance", then had to endure sitting next to (and being flattened..) by a 30-stone individual
diane, buxton, england
RyanAir deserve all the comments they get. I was attending training in Dublin once. As I was staying there for the weekend, and the Monday was St. Patrick's Day I arranged for my wife and children to fly out from London so we could be together. RyanAir flights duly booked. Booking in for the flight no problem. When it came time to board - the attendants opened the door and said "off you go" to everyone. Mad rush to the plabne as seats were no allocated - it was first come best seat. This left my heavily pregnant wife with a 5 month old baby and 2 more children of 9 and 6 to struggle to the plane with buggies and luggage with absolutely no help from anybody except a very kind Irish Gentleman who assisted her up the staeps with the buggy.
Mark, perth, Australia
Problem with a boycott/strike is that the government would just bail them out again, further inflating our already weak dollar.
Jeff, USA, USA
With all of the police state abuse at airports these days, it's a wonder why anyone flies anymore. A six-month passenger strike would go a long way to towards solving these problems.
LeChat, Toms River, New Jersey, USA
Marooned in Portland!! Portland is wonderful!! I suggest revisiting and paying more attention this time.
Schenn, portland, USA
I have never been thrown of a flight, but wonder if a passanger who is over weight and therefore encroaching into the next passangers seat space is eligable for ejection.
I experenced this on a short flight from Italy recently, I did not complain. If the flight had been long haul I might have.
What are my rights? Can I request to be moved or have the offending passanger moved.
Allen Soper, Spalding, Lincolnshire
You've got to laugh at the blatant anti-Ryanair plants that appear in in blogs about aviation these days. I've used Ryanair dozens of times without complaint, never been thrown off, never seen anyone thrown off and got to where I wanted to be on time without being ripped off for fresh air and things I don't want.
gerry, clydebank,
Security confiscated the jam my mum in law had made. They missed all the darning needles in my rucksack, though. I deliberately keep them in there to see if they ever find them (8 flights later, they're still in there).
starling, Lancaster,
your right about Portland I used to live there. I have done a few of those things on planes, but mostly im sick on them and on one flight from Heathrow to Porland I was sick for 4 hours straight. During landing into Ohare they would not let me use the toilet, so i filled 3 sick bags. upon landing one of my fellow passengers suggested I use Dramimine next time. A few minutes later i was taken to hospital.
Heather Thomas, York, UK
Some of these reasons are crazy. Especially when you consider that my parents were stuck on a nine hour flight with a woman who was drunk and shouting. The airline did not throw the drunk woman off the plane.
Charlotte, Wiltshire, UK
Rick please do avoid Ryanair..and add EasyJet..they are arrogant no frills cheapos and I wish everyone would do the same. Now EasyJet has taken over GB Airways, formerly the remaining civilised line to Spain. Use the big boys..they are often as cheap as or cheaper than the no frills. Part of the staff attitude poblem is that ..how should one put it?.. a diiferent class of passenger flies everywhere that once could not afford it. Nasty passengers, nasty staff.
Ian Smith, Sotogrande, Spain
A F Zainal loves this article.. teeheehee
a f zainal, liverpool, malaysia
Portland is a beautiful city. I'd take it over Vegas any day.
Sarah, Seattle, WA,
I was told I would be thrown off American Airlines if I insisted on taking my tinned cat food (visited friend has cat)--IF it were "in jelly". "Chunks and gravy is fine" The difference? The screening machinery's sensitive to that sort of thing, I was told. I could mix an explosive solution with the jelly, not gravy, I guess...
Jane Hertford
Jane Hertford, London, UK
This all shows that flying is plane stupid. Removing 100% of aircraft passengers will save the environment and make cities like London and Amsterdam better places to live.
Hein Maassen, Leidschendam, The Netherlands
I'm heading to the UK later this year - sounds as if I should avoid Ryanair for any European travel.
Rick, Melbourne, Australia
Being marooned in Portland isn't as bad you think.
Since I am a Portlander, I take offense to your comment.
Holly, Portland, OR
I was thrown off a RyanAir flight even before I got on it. I got to the RyanAir counter one hour (and one minute) before departure, as stipulated. There had been a bomb alert outside and I had been held up for 45 minutes. I was still there just in time. I asked which desk I needed to check in at, because all the signs had been switched off. I was directed to the global airline board 20 metres away. I got there, read it, established what my desk was, turned round and went back to the very desk that had sent me to the board (because it was where I should be booking in). I was told that, as I was now 1 minute late for booking in, I was shut off the flight. I had no hold bagage, only a carry-on and they still refused. The Supervisor was rude to the point of deserving a real slap when he told me that I was wasting his time in asking to get on the aircraft. RyanAir actually enjoy this process - its the only fun the brain dead can get. I will NEVER fly with them again.
David Laws, Brussels,
I'm going to guess that the author's never been to Portland. If you can't find something to do there, you're dead. Or Stephen Bleach.
MM, Kitsap, WA
I was really really hoping to see a fat rule.
What airlines really need is a passenger scale.
If your too fat to sit in the seat without lifting the armrest...
take the bus.
Berry, Chicago,
Delta, Atlanta - I was told I would not be allowed to board wearing a Stetson. No humour, no flexibility, no Southern hospitality. It's not Delta, it's Atlanta - I had just flown from Dallas through Jackson with no problems.
I took the hat off to pass the gate and then put it back on again. I don't pay good money to be told not to wear my hat.
Paul M, Puerto del Rosario, Spain
I have to agree with Eric that being thrown off a Ryanir flight is better than having to stay on it! I will soon be flying Ryanair on the 10 pound cheap flight scheme and Im already filled with dread over how they are going to treat passengers on that flight!
Kat, Glasgow, UK
The author's point about Portland is spot on. I was born there. There is also a town in Oregon called Boring. I often confuse the two.
andrew pandap, New York City, USA
I had a leg in a cast and rang Sleazy Jet that it would still be OK to take my flight and could I book a seat with leg room in advance. Their response was:
1) I had to book 3 seats to be allowed to check in
2) No I could not reserve seats in advance. I could book priority boarding so I would be in the first wave of passengers. ~they could not guarantee I would have all 3 seats together.
Sally, Geneva, Switzerland
I have done 3 of the above...I am classy
Ravi Mittal, London,
On a recent Alaska Airlines flight, US West Coast:
Flight attendant is giving the usual mechanical speech about oxygen masks, exits, life vests, et al., and one businessman is prattling on through it all. Attendant requests that he shut up and heed the safety message. Man curtly replies that he'd heard it all hundreds of times, and knew the whole message.
Attendant then pulls him to the front of the cabin, hands him the microphone, where he delivers the entire safety speech perfectly, from memory.
Jerry Glomph Black, Seattle, Washington, USA
HI,
Once I heard... On a flight out of South Africa, a passenger complained that a 'colored guy' was sitting next to him, and could the flight attendant "do something" about it. Preferably, move the complaining passenger away from the 'colored guy'.
A few minutes later the attendant returned and took the "colored guy" to first class.
Sam, Hague, Netherlands
I managed to get thrown off a plane...
Thankfully.
It was the wrong plane. I made the mistake of believing my boarding pass, and when I got to the gate that was on the boarding pass boarding was already in progress. I walked straight through, they scanned the pass and let me on. Then someone else turns up with a pass for the same seat... and I was called up to the front. My flight had moved to the next gate. I'd have ended up in Las Vegas instead of Phoenix...
And just to tie in further, that was flying out of Portland, Oregon, which the writer of the article has clearly never been to. It is one of the nicest cities in the western USA, and would be a wonderful place to live. My partner lives there, and I wish I could too.
Isaac, Manchester,
I'm sorry, but this was an excellent read all round! Well done to the journalist. Please write some more articles like this.
D.Harriss, Basildon, Essex, England
I strongly recommend that anyone wishing to either join the Mile High Club or extend their membership should do so with one of the stewardesses. The chances of being thrown off the plane are reduced and the ladies can be very accommodating at times.
Ed, York,
We were on an early flight from New York to London with Virgin Atlantic and were lucky enough to get upgraded. As we were settling in a woman came round the cabin offering massage. I mentioned that my partner might like a head massage as he'd bumped his head getting in the taxi - true. She went away, we sat down. Then the flight captain came over and started questioning him about whether he had blurred vision or was there a bump on his head. No, he was fine. The flight captain went away and came back with stewards who told us my partner could not fly until he had obtained a medical certificate - and we were escorted off the plane!
This was the start of twelve hours of hell at the hands of VA ground staff. It took four hours to get the medical certificate, for which they expected us to pay $100. And no, when we finally got the next flight that evening, the upgrade was not repeated. VA's answer to our complaint was that we'd ASKED to leave the plane! - as if. Don't fly Virgin Atlantic.
Thomas, London,
I was almost arrested several years ago at the delta ticket counter in Tampa, FL. We were traveling to canada, with our 1 week old baby and all we had was her hospital birth certificate, and they refused to let us fly with that (passports are were not even required at the time). Being that I had just given birth a little over a week ago, it was 6:30 in the morning, I was a little PO'd. We visited Canada frequently and knew what documenation we needed to cross the border. So I tossed my ticket on the counter, it flew up and hit the woman in the face (Obviously not deliberate) and she started screaming that I assaulted her and called security. I've boycotted them and will never fly with them again. Now that I look back, it's pretty funny but at the time I was so embarassed.
Colette, Tampa, FL, USA
I had booked an aisle seat on a flight from Boston and arrived early to take it. Just before the plane took off some people arrived late. A woman took the seat next to me. A female Flight Attendant asked if I would move so the husband could sit with 'his family'. I declined. The F A was most rude. She made me look like the one in the wrong and made loud sarcastic comments . I was told that there was another aisle seat vacant so decided to take it to resolve the matter. Another FA made comments about people changing seats. The FA who asked me to move made more snide comments while bringing me the obligatory snack. Later I told others about what happened and they said women are not treated as well as men. I wrote a letter of complaint to the airlines and received a form letter about passenger expectations, but they did give me a voucher towards another flight. If it happens again I will not answer the FA so she will have to move the person who arrived late.
Annie , Lincoln, UK
Getting thrown off a Ryanair flight is better than staying on it usually.
eric campbell, harrogate, uk
I got chucked off of a delta flight to boston for talking with my passenger, who happened to be an off-duty police officer, about firearms, shooting ranges, and the second ammendment. I won $1900 in a civil suit against the airline for the essential theft of my luggage and laptop. The officer next to me even showed his badge and told the flight attendant to leave me alone. Alas, drunk with power, and me not wanting to end up in guantanamo bay, I left peacefully.
Charles, Grayson, GA, United States
What does chucked off as well mean?
marco, detroit, mi
We bought a kit to excavate and assemble a dinosaur encased in plaster when in Boston for our grandaughter. We took it as hand luggage to avoid rough usage by baggage handlers. Unfortunately it contained a hammer with a spike on it. It was only about the size of a toffee hammer but was clearly a most deadly weapon and caused some consternation. We only just got the flight.
Merv Thompson, scarborough, uk
Removed from a flight due to a toy "snake" that could give a potential passenger a heart attack if removed from carry on luggage during flight.
United airlines.
Simon, wellington, NZ.
hey portland is awesome
Jarome, London,
There's nothing wrong with Portland, Oregon! It's rated as one of the most livable cities in the USA. It's got the biggest rose garden, the most authentic Japanese and Chinese gardens, Powell's bookstore, just to name a few attractions.
-- A miffed ex-Portlander
Alex, Salem, OR
I was in Johannesburg SA, a couple of years ago with a friend of mine. We had a flight booked to Capetown. That morning we decided to spend our last hours in town shopping around. we ended up in a weapons and arms "boutique". Attracted by the unusual sight, we decided to explore the shop. We left the shop and I was totally unaware that whilst looking around my friend had bought a big, shining, survival combat knife. A flashy toy he had the brilliant idea to save in his large pocket trousers. We checked in regularly at joburg airport and our heavy luggages were checked for the plane.
I passed positevely the security checks and screenings, but when my friend crossed the checking point, an acoustic warning led the guards to a more thorough search. The guy was then taken to a room from where he reappeared shortly. the guards put the knife on a table hinting that we could take it and go.we strongly refused and when we arrived at the boarding point the plane had leftt already
daicacoddaus, london,
Re your recent airline article on airline jobsworths, whilst not kicked off :
I decided to try Flybe's Business Class (big mistake). Whilst checking in at Manchester for my flight home, I met a friend I hadn't seen for a while. We skipped the business lounge (coffee in a vacuum flask) and boarded the plane. During the safety announcements, I was told to "shut up". I duly complied. When the drinks trolley came round, I told me my friend that by travelling business class, I was entitled to a free snack and refreshment. I decided I didn't want anything to eat and that I would use my snack voucher to buy her a drink. I asked for a white wine and a hot chocolate and was told that I could only use the vouchers for one drink and one snack even though the price of the hot chocolate was less than a sandwich. Unfortunately, I have to fly this airline again this week.
Anne Hall, Glasgow,
Whilst flying Ryanair from Barcelona, the woman opposite asked for a coffee. The flight attendant (who looked as if she belonged to a knife gang) poured the boiling water into the cup and handed it to the woman. Unfortunately, the lid wasn't on properly and the boiling liquid fell onto her. The attendent made sure the woman was given paper towels to dry most of it from her clothes and topped up the coffee with more water. She then proceeded to charge her for the coffee.
Anne Hall, Glasgow,
Given what the cabin crew get up to, at least on commuter flights, I doubt they have much room to criticise passenger conduct. Extreme case in point below.
George, Edinburgh,
I was on an internal flight in China, and as I boardedthe plane, a youngish looking chinese lady pinched my arse, I turned around and said, "Do u mind." |So, she said in broken English, "No I dont mind, and did it again, then I said well if you wanna continue, then be my guest, well she turned out to be a stewardess on China Soutthern, we are now married, and yes I was chucked off as well.
Stu, Beijing,